You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
