I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
