Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Randomize
