He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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