Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
