pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Boobs are out for the taking
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
