So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
