I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
