Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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