your thong is hanging out like whoa
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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