my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
