went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
