Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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