Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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