So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
