One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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