you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
