that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
