Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
