I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
