Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
God I need to hump something, right now.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
