I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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