this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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