My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I smell like Dick and happiness
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
