Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
