i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize