Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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