I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
