made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
