I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I deserve this hangover.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
