i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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