that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize