he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
