this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
