I just made out with a guy for $7.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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