Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
