ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
