She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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