So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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