I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
