he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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