hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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