Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
