Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
