i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
