GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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