Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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