I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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