i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize