It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
