You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
