I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
