how can u be prego again
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
