oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's never too late to be topless.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize