Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So apparently I’m into choking now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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