Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
