Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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