The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
