i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
