If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
