Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
